“Unlike simple stress, trauma changes your view of your life and yourself. It shatters your most basic assumptions about yourself and your world — “Life is good,” “I’m safe,” “People are kind,” “I can trust others,” “The future is likely to be good” — and replaces them with feelings like “The world is dangerous,” “I can’t win,” “I can’t trust other people,” or “There’s no hope.”
― Mark Goulston, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder For Dummies
Having survived two near-fatal accidents, I learnt recently that I am a long way off recovery still since the self-inflicted damage to my nervous system has finally been correctly diagnosed; thankfully, the paralysis which initiated that is long since gone but the effects are to remain in play until I die. Physical ailments aside, the psychological impact of such blood-curdling impacts is harder to gauge. I am diagnosed with disinhibition, that which, amongst other things, really helps my chess.
After all, when a stone is dropped into a pond, the water continues quivering even after the stone has sunk to the bottom.
― Arthur Golden, Memoirs of a Geisha
I rarely play yet have become much better. Mostly because I now disregard all theory and play more directly in positions I alone chose rather than adhering to positional motives that were at best only ever half-learnt. Here’s an example which I find remarkable because it’s 15 minute game I played on-line. I didn’t concentrate on the game much yet on auto-pilot I found a very sharp tactic which won the game straight away. I would never have done that before my accidents.
Old habits die hard but in recent years I have had players 2200, 2300 and 2400+ in all sorts of problems with 1. f4 during quickplay games.
I’m assuming black’s set up is an importation of a preference, namely, the Caro-Kann. 4. c4 c6 has just been played. Larsen used to play like this. I always had admiration for him. Please see below for one reason why.
After 8. Ne5 Nge7. I didn’t like black’s last move.
After 11. fxe5. Black now plays 11. … Nc6. I am happy with my position, even though I have not emerged with a real advantage.
Here black plays 14. … O-O, which I found to be suspicious. 15. Bd2 b5 follows.
I just played 18. Qg3, black replied with Kh7. I was barely thinking here yet the game is almost won already
Black has just played 22. … Qe6. Admittedly I find it strange that the answer just came without any thought, definitely indicative of a change in style. So how does white force a win from here? My opponent resigned four moves later.
Larsen beats Petrosian with 1. f4 in fine style.
http://www.chessgames.com/perl/chessgame?gid=1106394
I will leave you with Caliban’s best track, beyond its relevance to the post lies one almighty rhythm change at the 2.50 mark. It really is quite something, the video is intriguing too.
MJM
McCreadyandChess 
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