Archive for December 23rd, 2020

…and so I sit solemnly in the eve of this cold winter’s day, alone in contemplation as I gaze into a pale blue sky. And within that contemplation, a lament that lies luminated by twilight and not the end of twilight. And there the embers burn: the process of unlearning yields a greater harvest than the process of learning burns away until it dies, strangled by the cold that comes across field. And why does this ‘acceptance of yours’ do that you may ask? For the very simple reason that unlearning consists of dialogue and self-correction for it is retrospective whereas the process of learning involves ill-gotten imperatives supported by the odd senseless, unreflective and over-simplified monologue. To err is human, yes indeed, to correct oneself is an indication that peer correction is no longer present, hence they burn so slowly for it is more drawn out, for if that be lost time, then lost time it be…

…and the light that burns half as bright burns half as long…

…and I cannot say how nor when nor can I say why or when but beyond the summer and autumn bluster I have taught myself what went missing in my play very early on is back and back to stay. It constituted a shift in style that went unnoticed and pushed me into more positional play before I gave up chess way back when. And the activity and directness with which I began only went missing until the process of unlearning and the persistence I pressed on with in those ungodly hours clustered above all that washed away below. It taught me that opponents crack under pressure, it taught me attacks on the king unnerves everyone, it taught me to never give up, and so I rediscovered the way forwards. Not consciously for it came about by itself…a long awaited return to the fold if you like. And it be this: active play, direct attacks, and only then gentle pressure with incorporated positional elements…with win followed by win followed by win…

…and the result is an enriched understanding of chess, sharpened thought processes, and a level of play above all others before, in sum I am playing by far the best chess of my life, and identity-conferring too, and with what’s planned soon to be scaled, I will reach my own summit. There is not much of that climb left now….and because of that: to sit alone on a soulless, blisteringly cold winter’s day is a subdued Nirvana…

…and time it waits for no man, my future it is revealed…

…and time it waits for no man, my fate is sealed…

Nirvana

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