Dear Ken, the agony uncle for those chess players in need of advice.
James, Northampton hello Ken and thank you for publishing my letter. It’s about something that happened at our club. One of our members is gay and very flirtatious. In recent months he’s been accused of following club members about and sexually harassing them. We had a meeting and agreed to ask him to stop. Anyway, it didn’t and on one evening he tried to molest one of the pensioners who plays for us. When the club secretary went to speak to him, he pulled out a knife and stabbed him. He then ran off. We learn that he’s joined the Rushden club and is behaving in the same manner. Should we warn them of him or get him banned?
KEN: this geezer sounds like a right shister but the solution is simple. On a match night, make sure you get a good few pints in, get yourself lagered up. Then drive over to this Rushton club and stab him back! If he tries it on, batter the bastard. Don’t get the old bill involved for fuck’s sake. Just, erm, go over there pissed up and knife him.
James, Northampton But Ken, we could kill him?
KEN: you won’t kill him unless you hit vital or non vital organs. Just put a blade in his back and get him put on the sex offenders register.
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