Dear Ken, your on line agony uncle.
Paul, Harpenden
Dear Ken, thank you for reading my letter and taking the time to respond. Last week I played in a match in the Herts. league and during the game I tried to kill myself. I blundered in the opening, losing my queen’s knight. It was such a massive shock to the system, so I just sat there not thinking about the game. I got up, walked out of the club and stood in the middle of the road, waiting for someone to run me over and kill me but no cars or vans came, so I had to go back inside. But I couldn’t go back to my game because I was so ashamed of myself, so I just went to the bar, ordered a pint then glassed someone standing there. Blood everywhere there was. Massive punch up too and I won it, so now I am not sure what to do if I blunder again. Should I kill myself or just attack people instead?
Ken: it’s a messy league that you are in. By the sounds of it you’d be better off in the Beds. league. That’s got a much higher suicide rate than the Herts league, and the players are harder as well, so if you want to glass someone, you will need more practice to win any afters that go on there I can tell you. I suggest you learn how to box if you want to make a name for yourself in that league.
Paul, Hardenden, so what you are saying is I sound more suited to the Beds league than the Herts. league and should play there instead but take up boxing post haste if I do? Basically I should step in the ring before I step into the league clubs there?
Ken: yes, that’s about it. Don’t forget your gumshield on match nights.
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