Archive for the ‘Chess’ Category

Upon this coming Friday, I shall not be present at Bangkok Chess Club. And why’s that you ask? Put simply, I pulled an absolute stunner about a month ago, and we have our first date lined up for the same night as the chess club. And when I say stunner, I really do mean it. I’m not messing about. I think she’s absolutely fantastic and to show you why, I shall leave you with a picture of her, then it will become abundantly clear why there’s no fucking way I will be at the club this Friday.

I swear on my life, I’m not fucking about -that is who I am dating. I’m all over her like the fucking plague, as you might expect, so yeah ‘fuck the chess club.’

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Bangkok Chess Club meets every Friday evening above The Royal Oak Pub (previously The Bull), and so it was only fitting that I returned to the club which I have been frequenting since 2003. For map, see here:,100.5662752,17z/data=!3m1!4b1!4m5!3m4!1s0x30e29f02051edc49:0x14f2a19a89270b09!8m2!3d13.7324447!4d100.5684728 And given that it’s two years since I was there last, I had a very pleasant return indeed which had a sense of being somewhat overdue. It’s nice to see old friends, and see them happy to meet again, and the sense of familiarity which comes with that is always a welcome reminder of why friends remain what they are irrespective of how little you have in common beyond a shared love of chess.

There was about fifteen members present, arriving at various times, including the sister of Alexandra Kosteniuk. They look so alike I thought it was her at first as its not uncommon to have visiting Grand masters or titled players of a lower category turn up once in a while under the guise of some tourist passing by. The usual blitz tournament started around 8, which is earlier than usual, however, this proved not to be advantageous. I started drinking cider almost immediately upon arrival, partly due to being a piss head and partly because cider is my tipple anyway…oh and partly down to being an impulsive little shit so-and-so at times who is remarkably adept at not thinking things through clearly and just doing what he wants instead…oh and that I was in a pub anyway with the usual pomp and circumstance ensuing, and you could also argue that enjoying the evening on the whole mattered much more than my results given that contentment and not improvement is what I tend to gravitate towards chesswise: it matters not whether I get any better but enjoying my chess is always of greater value. So most unfortunately I got not just tipsy and not just rather merry but pissed up instead, perhaps the sense of occasion took centre stage and it seemed like the most natural thing to do. Why wouldn’t it? After all, you enter downtown and are at a bustling English pub in one of the better suburbs. Hard not to join in and have a drink…when in Rome and all that shit…

So the evening was characterized by drinking, chatting to old friends, being not quite quick enough for such rapid time controls, and drinking, and yet more drinking. Good evening all round in which the results didn’t really matter too much. I took some pictures and made some videos of the club itself, which you can find below. It was with great affection that I began to look forwards to OTB chess last month, and my first visit to the club showed exactly why that was so. Rightly so. And must remain so.

Listen up: under no circumstances whatsoever should I still be alive. The blood clot which reeked havoc in my brain was removed in a hospital along the road you see here.

In this video I don’t express very well just how much I used to boss that road on my Trek, and that I am still proud of it.

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Since I stepped in shit on the street, I have begun playing online again. I don’t quite know why having shit all over my shoes would prompt me and I also don’t know why my level of play is much lower than usual -in fact it’s shit. But anyway, all I can be sure of is the shit works. I’m not shitting you, the level of play is foul but I am up for it nonetheless. It’s certainly helped fend off less desirable online habits.

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Greetings my beloved audience. Thought I’d just say a quick hello. I went online to buy a new blow up doll and a look at pharmaceuticals on the dark web, as it will be easier to give it a good rodgering on drugs than off them…well usually it is, anyway. I also needed to use google maps to locate the nearest VD clinic as I have come down with knobrot, so yes, it’s a quick hello from me. I’m in a great mood tonight. On the street I whacked myself in the head with a bottle of beer earlier (didn’t smash) because someone got in my way and made me step in some shit on the pavement and skid in some vomit as well -the bastard -so I’m kinda proud of myself for not letting him get away with it. If I get shit on my shoes, I can never get it off, so I get mad, so I gave it to myself. That aside, uneventful evening really. Anyway, bye for now.

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The curse of commonality

With a return to OTB chess imminent, I have to start liking chess players again and making an effort. But what’s up with that? Why should we make an effort with others just because they like chess too. There’s much more to a person than that. What is it with liking people who like the same things we do. They might be a degenerate fucker and best avoided. Why does having shared interests have to change things? And it must be remembered that many chess players love to shag blow up dolls in their bedroom. If a chess player is shagging blow up dolls also, it would be better not to speak to him at all and get him banned from the club. As you probably know, the most common reason for a drop in rating points is down to chess players spending hours every night shagging blow up dolls instead of studying chess. There should always be suspicion in play because you don’t know what people get up to.

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Given how many chess players there are on the planet, it goes without saying that reading habits vary greatly. So greatly that generalisations are best avoided. A notable factor is that we are going digital and the necessity for chess theory passed many years ago already. There’s so much content on youtube alone it’s ridiculous not to mention all the apps springing up. A pleasure of reading supersedes the direction chess theory is moving in but if you do enjoy reading, what do you read?

It’s always been the case that as a literary genre, chess is decadent for a number of reasons. This doesn’t mean there’s nothing worth reading but it does mean you need to be circumspect when buying new material. It’s always been like that and unlikely to improve much. But what do you do with the classics on your bookshelf? How often do we re-read? I can’t answer that because its down to you. How much effort you put into reading is dependant on what you get out of it, generalisations aren’t worth it.

You should return to those publications you cherish most and you shouldn’t just allow your books to gather dust. How much more than that I can say I don’t know. I just assumed it goes without saying that you should have a take on the genre as a whole before making decisions.

For me, I still love Chess for Tigers by Simon Webb and Rowson is still my favourite author. Not much more to add really.

I think we can safely say there are far better things to read than chess, so to end I suggest you read other stuff.

Lastly, I don’t think it remains an open question as to why most chess literature is centred around improvement and not contentment. If you haven’t worked out the sales pitch by now, you’ve got some catching up to do…no time like the present.

Mark, 0859, October 30th

A lit room where I belong most. Laksi, Bangkok

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A film in the making

As you know, I am one of the most famous bloggers in the world and also one of the most handsome. I’ve been approached by a top film company to write the script for a chess film, which they produce with some of the leading actors across the globe. They said, ‘take inspiration from a flick from the past but make it chess related. There’s a few bob in it for you’

This is what I’ve come up with so far:

Chainsaw massacre at Bedford Chess Club

In this film, someone playing for Bedford is in a match against Luton. He has a winning position but makes mistakes and only draws. He goes bezerk, storms out only to come back ten minutes later and massacres everyone in sight with a chainsaw.

Driller Killer at Milton Keynes Chess Club

In this film, someone playing blitz in Milton Keynes forgets to press his clock and goes bezerk. He runs to his car and returns with a drill which goes through the head of his opponent straight away. Then he unleashes on others playing.

Leighton Buzzard Chess club members sink on the titanic

In this film, Leighton Buzzard chess club organize a ten round tournament whilst cruising on the titanic. But it sinks and none of them make it to a lifeboat.

Northampton Chess club match stopped by possessed girl

In this film, a match at Northampton chess club is stopped by a possessed girl who sprays vomit everywhere and is abused by the devil whilst a priest performs an exocism.

Luton Chess Club shaken by godzilla

In this film, an evening at Luton Chess Club was jeapodized by godzilla who happened to pass by.

Cranfield Chess club taken over by Freddy Kruger from a Nightmare on Elm Street.

In this film, Freddy Kruger becomes the club president at Cranfield and scares off teams from visiting clubs.

Slasher from Halloween stalks Dunstable Chess Club members

Dunstable chess club members are followed home and then get broken into and slashed in their sleep.

County match delayed by Dracula

In this film a match between Bedfordshire and Norfolk is delayed due to dracula drinking someone’s blood whilst he was waiting for his opponent.

Local tournament interrupted by Frankenstein

In this film a tournament organizer demands all the clocks are stopped when Frankenstein appears and starts staring at him.

That’s the best I can come up with. I tried to make them as true to life as possible, and nearly all of them are based on events from the past.

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A new readership?

Earlier this evening, whilst I was downtown looking for a friend, a man approached me in the street and said ‘hey, your the guy who writes that mccreadyandchess website aren’t you?’ Naturally I told him I was. He then asked for an autograph and paid me a large sum of money to not write about chess anymore but something else instead. I deposited the money on my way home. But then when I arrived, I accidentally put the piece of paper which he wrote what I should write about on the table. Minutes later the dog ate it. So I went back to find him and as soon as I saw him on the street a taxi came to a screeching halt, then two men got out and shot him. Now he’s dead and I can’t remember what it was he asked me to write about. I reported it to the police and they told me if I post anything about this on my site, they will come round and blow up my apartment whilst I am asleep, so I’d better stop.

Chess: yes. Erm, try to avoid playing online too much, it causes bad habits to develop.

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The persistence of time

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When I look back on how I played chess in my youth, there is nothing that impresses me about it -nothing at all. Apart from everything else, I just didn’t take it seriously enough. With regards to my opening repertoire, around 1991/1992 I found the Sicilian defence to be a source of much frustration and didn’t quite know what to do against it. And so in 1992 I made the leap from 1. e4 to 1. f4, which I became noted for. Looking back there was a lot wrong with that decision. 1. f4 is a poor opening move and is at best drawish. It never really occurred to me to think about the consequences of consciously choosing something drawish. But more importantly, it lead to great inflexibility in my chess because white invariably goes for a similar set up every time with the intent of keeping the centre closed for attacks on the kingside. It also didn’t occur to me to think about the consequences of playing the same way all the time and the impact that would have on my game overall. Nor did it enter my head to stop and evaluate the type of position I often ended up with (usually closed). And it was only 2 or 3 years later that I started experimenting with move order and changing things up that I got any kind of handle on it. The problem is here that in every game the position changes and flexibility is the key. Trying to force a certain type of win is never a good way to play but that’s the way it went. My decision making process exuded amateurism and I certainly am not the only one to evade opening theory with opening moves lacking in credibility. But the bottom line is that a change from 1. e4 to 1. f4 really is bad and it’s far better to just stick it out and delve further into opening theory. That I never did, I was kinda afraid of it. Silly me.

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